Why do we hurt those we love?
It is said that every attack is a cry for help.
When someone is hurting sufficiently in some way, that kind of pain can motivate them to act-out or try to hurt others, even those they love the most. This is an attempt to stop their suffering by getting their needs met. They turn to the (person/thing) outside because they believe it is the outside that is hurting them.
Anyone who is hurting simply wants to feel good, and so the core intention is good. However, if you hurt someone you love because you were hurting, you will later regret it, whether you got what you wanted or not. Simply put, with this strategy you can’t ever win.
While you are hurting, your world becomes tiny, often focused exclusively on the pain. You may no longer even see the actual person you love in front of you, much less be aware of their state–and in that way you make yourself blind to the effect your words and actions have on them…
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wow how true is this..it seems that the more we hurt, the more we hurt others expecting them to see the hurt and become compassioate towards us, but it doesnt work that way at all. they don’t see the hurt, they see anger and hate.
That’s right PatriciaDiane,
It is well intentioned, but backwards and does not work, and I think that is a universal experience,the same for everyone. There is a much better way that feels better, works better, and transcends ego. They don’t see the hurt, and most importantly, they don’t see the source of the hurt–love. Seek joy! Become self-fulfilling! Be the love you want to see
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